Exactly one year ago today!!

   

We were waking up in Chicago one year ago today. I had those weird antibacterial wipes that I had to use all over my body to prep for surgery. I got dressed and we headed downstairs. The hotel gave my husband breakfast to go since we were leaving so early and he'd be stuck waiting at the hospital. I still think that was so thoughtful of them. Then we waited, filled with anxiety and so nervous, for our cab to arrive. We hopped in and I thought I was going to puke from the nerves.

I remember being so excited too. We were there, somehow all the hassle with the insurance company and getting a surgery date in Jan, things just fell into place. I remember watching the town at 5am as we made the 20 min ride to University of Chicago Medicine. Knowing in just minutes that I'd be meeting the man that I had been calling and exchanging emails for what felt like over a year. They called a bunch of us back, anyone who had any kind of surgery was called into the room. They put you in a little area with a curtain, ask you all sorts of questions and give you your gown and sweet shower cap looking thing. Then Derrick was allowed back and we waited. Just a few mins longer and Dr. Haney walked it. He must have just got there because he had his black wool winter coat and scarf still on. He was smiling ear to ear and I was meeting the celebrity to all of us women with incompetent cervixes. He shook our hands and still smiling he started to explain to us how he was going to help us carry a baby to term. He used Derrick's hands and wedding ring to give us a visual of what was about to happen. I felt my heart fill with hope and a sad feeling of wishing I had known to do this before. I was in that room because my daughter's didn't make it. It was a mix of emotions, they'd be here if I had known and here I was feeling guilty because I hadn't. 

I felt like a ball of nerves.This was my first time going under anesthesia. I was so scared that for some odd reason I wouldn't wake up. The nurses and Dr. Haney's assistant assured me that I would be just fine.

Then it was time. I remember the anesthesiologist picking up the IV bag and helping hold my gown as Derrick and I walked in the hallway. My eyes welled up with tears. From the grief of losing my daughters to the pure happiness and gratefulness of being able to step foot in that hospital, for a life changing surgery. Then she said I could hug and kiss my husband and I just cried. I walked away and through the OR doors.

 She told me how the meds would work. I jumped up on the table and she told me the meds in my IV would make me smile. I laid down and they were talking to me as the medicine was going through. I remember smiling, like she said I would and talking through the mask on my face. Before I finished my sentence (still can't remember what they asked me or what I was talking about) I was out. I woke up probably an hour or so later. I woke up so nicely out of the anesthesia, wide awake and my husband was walking in. He had just finished with Dr. Haney. I guess he called him into an office and told him how things went. Dr. Haney mentioned my uterus and ovaries "we're gorgeous" and that he had no reason to think it would take long to conceive. He mentioned my cervix was long, which made him happy. He knew I'd have no problem carrying to term. The surgery went well and I'd be in the hospital 24 hours. They wheeled me to a room and I couldn't wait to eat something. They gave me an orange and it was the best tasting thing in the world at that time. My husband couldn't help but take a photo of me devouring that orange. Then the lovely morphine pump. I felt pretty good. Woke up the next day and was dressed and up. Dr. Haney was shocked and said that's what you get with a young healthy woman, she's up, dressed and ready to go just 24 hrs after surgery. He said he's never seen someone up so fast like that in all his years. I think it was pure adrenaline :) I was a happy lady that was excited that the surgery happened. That I carry a scar that means more to me than I could ever explain. 

And here we are exactly a year later.... 25 weeks 3 days pregnant. 100 days until little man's birthday and we were given the most priceless gift by an amazing doctor.  A chance at a normal, full term pregnancy. I have been on my feet 40 hrs a week, shopping after work and enjoying this pregnancy. What an amazing feeling! I can't thank Dr. Haney enough for changing out lives and giving us the hope that we needed to keep moving forward. He really saved our lives and gave us the opportunity to bring another one into this world.