A moment to myself

    I have a lot of time when I'm by myself. Sometimes this is a good thing, I get time to just let my thoughts flow. I have always been a very emotional person. When I do something I put every possible emotion into it and I immerse myself in whatever it is I'm doing. I love to love, I love to care about things and people. I'm at a very wonderful spot in my life at the moment.   
     It has taken us so many years to get here, many losses (this pregnancy is our 6th pregnancy) and I'm just beyond happy right now. I have so much love for this little one. 5 years worth of love just sitting in my heart waiting for a little one to come along and with each loss that love grows even more because I know what a miracle this little one is. I catch myself crying every once in a while. I can not put into words exactly what this feels like, to wait so long that you've gotten to a point that you never think it will happen. Then by surprise you are given this chance to finally have the dream you have wished for, that you have waited for.
        I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy! I can't let it out enough. This is really happening. Our guest room will finally be a nursery, we will finally have toys scattered everywhere and I can't be happier to have my life change so drastically. I am so ready to give everything to this little one. I get to stop doing things for me and start doing them for someone else. No one has any idea how happy that makes me :) 

We had an ultrasound yesterday. Baby is doing great! Every single time she does an ultrasound I find my eyes searching for that heartbeat, and a rush just comes over me every single time its there. This pregnancy is flying by so fast. Before we know it baby will be here. I couldn't be more excited! Ok so there wasn't much of an update. I just had time to myself tonight with nothing else to do. I've spent hours searching for baby clothes but without a gender I don't want to purchase anything yet. I've searched nursery ideas and picked out cloth diapers but still not purchasing anything until gender is known.
I'm just happy and feel so full of love right now :) I see regular ob in 2 wks and high risk on the 30th then surgery the 5th. Updates to come from those visits