To catch you up to speed

               It took us 4 years, 1 month, and 4 weeks to get to this point. Over 5 years if you count the time before Emerson. We have had many losses and much heartache. We had gotten to the point that we thought we would never have children.

     My mother dropped off a little fortune that she framed that said: "your dreams will come true when you least expect it." I had no idea how that would truly apply to us. We chuckled to ourselves about it because we thought wouldn't that be funny if that is how it worked out. Never really thinking it would work that way.

I had just lost a lot of weight, started doing things that made me happy and learned how to truly just live. I haven't been that happy in years. I had no idea I was pregnant. I just looked at the calendar one day and realized I was either late or close to being late. I woke up at 7am and Derrick needed excedrin because he had a terrible migraine. Since I was at the store for him I decided to just grab a test. I didn't get my hopes up because I was so tired of doing that.

I gave Derrick his headache meds and went to the bathroom. Before the test even finished the line was so bright there was no mistaking that there was a little bean in there. I freaked because it was a complete surprise and I was shocked! I immediately called the Dr. and since I'm high risk and have had miscarriages before they do a blood test call an Hcg beta.
 That is where they can measure the amount of pregnancy hormone (the hormone that turns a pregnancy test positive) and it gives you a number. They can tell if you have a healthy pregnancy if your number doubles in 48hrs. The past pregnancies never doubled so I was worried about my numbers. The first number came back and it was 1,194. I only needed a number between 5-500 so that was great. Although we were excited we knew in 48hrs that number had to double and that would tell us if this was a healthy pregnancy. I was a wreck for the next 48hrs. I had the draw done and the nurse called I was dying to hear the number but before she said anything she screamed "congratulations" into the phone. I knew right then we were ok. My number was 2,394 almost exactly doubled. This pregnancy was going to be ok. Finally I had numbers that were great and doubled. I never imagined I'd get to hear that
Now because of our many miscarriages I will always panic and think something is wrong. I waited a few weeks and couldn't handle it anymore so I called for an ultrasound. I was around 6wks and I needed to see a heartbeat to relax. I was a nervous wreck walking into the hospital for the ultrasound. I expected to get bad news. As she moved the wand around looking for the baby, I could see it and I could see a flicker. There was a heartbeat!!! 156 beats per minute!! We were ok but our ease of course was sort lived. When you've had losses you don't ever let go of the fear no matter how much someone tells you its ok.

We had another ultrasound yesterday and could finally tell people we were expecting. Now this is where the fun begins. Being high risk I will be going back and forth to many doctors. Thinking about it stresses me out but I know that it needs to be done to bring this baby home. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared out of my mind. We not only have to get past the first trimester but we also have to worry about the 2nd trimester because that is where our problems began with Emerson. We have to fight pre term labor and a possible incompetent cervix. We don't know if I'll need bed rest and we have no idea what the future holds for us.

But for now we will enjoy each day we have and take them one day at a time. We've made it to one little milestone so we are excited. Many more little milestones to come :)